so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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