You're completely useless in the revolution.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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