Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
