I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
