i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
