She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You are the jesus of drinking
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
