I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
