theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
