God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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