fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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