He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
