Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
