so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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