i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
