I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
They took my balls.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
