the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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