i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
