Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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