Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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