You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
