I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
