I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
