hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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