Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
