that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he was CRYING into my vagina
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
