I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
