she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
worst night to have a conscience
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
