In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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