if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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