What a fucking waste of an outfit
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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