She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
