My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
