somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
