I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
