'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
