Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
