i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
