Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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