Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
