About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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