I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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