We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
