Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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