do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
