yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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