"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
