conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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