Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
