Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
