That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
