fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
