is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
