We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize