wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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