The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
