Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
