That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
