Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
