I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
