All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Randomize
