i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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