At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
