that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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