He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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