Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
my liver is dry heaving
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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