I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
