now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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