NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Randomize
