Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
