Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
