Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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