did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize