Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
