First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
