life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
