I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
