Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize