I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
